American Idol – Top 12

Not that you care, and not that you asked, but I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while.  Now that I have pinpointed at least 4 serious Idol fans (wagering!  shit-talking!) I have what I consider a captive audience.  Throw in a couple other Idol fans (Hi Kelly!  Franny!) This may be the only week I do it, or you may be deleteing these every Wednesday.  Only time and your awesome sense of humor will tell.
 
Heidi’s American Idol Roundup:
 
Amanda Overmyer – Ok, I admitt it.  I am over the Overmyer.  Actually, if I’m being really honest, I’ve never liked her.  But maybe that wasn’t a secret to begin with?  Tonight she does the same old thing in the same old clothes with the same old terrible hair.  I get that some people really dig her style, but then they can probably line up to watch her shout a lot on the back of a flatbed.  Girl is 24!!!  Why do I feel like I’m watching a 40 year old 4 pack a day smoker clinging to their rockstar dream?
 
Kristy Lee Cook – Will you ever go away?  I didn’t even have Kristy Lee in my top 12, yet here she is, every week, sucking.  Girl had a record deal, girl still couldn’t sing.  What is American Idol going to do for her?  Oh yes, let her showcase her favorite dress made out of a Glad bag and glitter glue.  Paula liked the dress, but I think Paula gets most of her wardrobe from a dumpster.  Probably one behind her local pharmacy.
 
David Archuleta – David is back this week with his usual adorableness and amazing voice.  However, I still think last week showed his 17 years and though he’s going to go deep into the competition, I still don’t think he’s polished enough to win.
 
Michael Johns – Michael of the Two First Names is so hot and sexy and accent-y that I can’t help but love him.  But dude needs to step it up, BIG TIME.  And please no more sob stories, they were genuine at first but are becoming cloying; one of my least favorite things in the world.  And even more than Brooke, he needs to figure out what to do with his arms while singing.  Someone give that guy a guitar.  He doesn’t even have to know how to play it. 
 
Brooke White – My favorite to win this competition didn’t quite do herself any favors this week by being matchy matchy with her song and twirling and wooing around the stage all limbs a-kimbo.  I still think her voice is amazing and it gets me every time she sings, but she needs to play to her strengths, maybe even more than Little David.  However, I will admit that her downfall in this competition could come from not mixing it up enough.  She’s still leagues above at least 8 of the other competitors though, and I’m sticking by my pick.
 
David Cook – Uh oh, David got cocky.  Not where you want to be when you face the King of Cocky every week at the judge’s table.  I think David does what he does really well, but this week it was a little too “Look how awesome and rockerish I am with my dumb voice modulator that I just learned how to use this morning!” Gack.  If he takes it down a notch and showcases his vocals I still think he can go a long way.
 
Carly Smithson – Where’s my Guiness?!?!  Just kidding…  I love your bar!  Anyway, we seriously need to talk about the hair and the giant wreath shirt.  Is someone riding you in a parade?  I sure hope not.  But I think some lucky wagerers will be riding you all the way to the end of this competition.  However, me thinks perhaps Carly is staking a little to much of her life’s worth (a tattoo?  For Idol?  Really?)  on this competition.  It could all go terribly wrong for her in the end.  Blackbird didn’t rock my world, but Carly is consistently strong and should have no probablem making the final 4 at least. 
Previous record deal not withstanding.
 
Jason Castro –Nerd Alert!  What’s with the two toned shirt tucked into the jeans?  And how does that guy manage to be so stoned all the time under the watchful eye of the Fox Network?  He’s adorable and I love his schtick, but Michelle didn’t wow me.  He’s safe this week but he either needs to go back to seducing chicks in the dorm room or bust out with something truly amazing.
 
Syesha Something-or-Other – This girl bores me to death.  The boobs were kind of exciting this week, but IMHO not enough to redeem her fakely emotional rendition of Yesterday. She sucks.
 
Chikezie – Any guy that can get Ryan Seacrest that riled up (see last week’s Top 12) is a hero in my book.  (Have I mentioned how much I love Ryan Seacrest?  If I haven’t, and if I write any more of these you will certainly learn)  Chikezie took his awesome performance from last week, transferred it to a lesser song, threw in a harmonica and basically trashed it all up.  Sorry Chikezie, it wasn’t very good.
 
Ramiele Maluby – Ramiele proves once again that she is a natural talent.  Though her song choice was weak and the arrangement atrocious, she never missed a note.  Her strong vocal skills will carry her further in this competition, and she is so shortly adorable (She’ll totally be your BFF in like 5 minutes), but girl needs to seriously rock it out.
 
I could tell you my prediction for bottom 3, but if Kristy Lee doesn’t go home this week I might boycott Idol forever.*
 
*That is a total lie